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Veteran of a Thousand Psychic Wars

Rien Hayden is my savior...

Rien Hayden is my savior...

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Me: simplistic fool
Dear Riggs (and you people out there),

Thank you for making life better than bearable these past weeks. It really means alot to me to have someone around to make sure I don't jump off a cliff or drink myself to death. Your friendship has always been very special to me and I hope that you have that same feeling about mine. I guess that I am jumping at things, but that really doesn't bother me at all.

We've always had a strong connection. Maybe that's because you are one of the few gay men who is also raising children. We always have something to comiserate about, I mean afterall we are HIV positive, gay, dads. That's alot to bitch about. But more importantly, we always have something to laugh or smile about. A seemingly small accomplishment of one of the kids. A good day. Finally getting a song written after agonizing over it for months. The writer's block shattering. It's honestly amazing how much I have laughed and smiled in the last few weeks.

Plenty of people assumed that I was simply hiding my pain, but that's not it at all. Yes I hurt, but I'm good at adapting and moving on. I got married and divorced very young. I moved on. I had a son that I thought would ruin my life. I adapted and discovered how wonderful and precious he is to me. I lost an off and on ten year relationship. I will move on. At the time, I was angry and hurt. But I realize that the bastard was right. It will be better. We were too stagnant, too unchanging. I loved him and I know he loved me. And yet we were stuck in that very young definition of the word love. And when the love grew we simply weren't strong enough for it. I hope he's happy with her, and I hope he stays healthy.

More importantly, however, I hope that you and I figure out what this is. I'm sick and tired of people telling me that I am rebounding hard. Maybe I am, so what? I am happy. I am happier lieing in bed with you and just talking than I ever was with him. The weight that pressed down on me is gone. I am free... and I am alive.

Love,
Sam
P.S.: Riggs, I know you are reading this (probably at work) get a live journal you silly limey. :D
  • :huggles my woobie: I love you...

    and yes Lord Smexy does need to get an lj.
  • (Anonymous)
    You know me far too well, luv. Although, I am actually on break now, but I will consider getting a livejournal.

    Although I love you, I would appretiate if you didn't call me a limey. It's Scotch or Dirty Sock to you. Get the slurs right ;)
  • Hey beautiful. How are you?

    Although I think this is mad me asking you that here, when I could just shout across the room.
  • That's so cute, but I command thee. Post More Frequently!!! Jk

    Hope work and everything is well.
    Louis
  • This article was vey helpful to me. It helped me to be informed and more aware. The details were such a blessing, thanks.

  • Thanks for an idea, you sparked at thought from a angle I hadn’t given thoguht to yet. Now lets see if I can do something with it.

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